UnderDogBlog

Typos and All

2011-02-21T08:23:00.000-08:00

I stopped by to reread some of the nonsense I've posted here in the last 3 years and holy crap did I allow a lot of typos.

Facebook obviously killed my blog and that's too bad but why not start writing in it again? I've told myself I would a couple of times in the past and I didn't so let's just see how it goes. Fortunately, my next door neighbor provided the inspiration for my current visit (that's what she does, provide inspiration) and I'm thinking of a way to keep this thing sustainable.

Day to day life - I've been promoted to Academic Advisor and only teach one night class these days. Thanks to my wonderful next door neighbor, provider of inspiration, and best co-worker ever, I can handle not teaching as much. Plus, this will be good experience for my next career move. I want to be an International Student Advisor.

Can't wait for Spring, can't wait to see what happens next.

2010 Blogging

2010-02-10T14:16:00.000-08:00

I still think about his blog, but I've been spending all of my time writing a screen play. And I know its really really really really hard to get someone to read one of these things, and it's not like I wrote it to ever have it produced, or read for that matter... So what am I supposed to do with this thing? I've almost reached my goal of 100 pages, and it might even wind up being a little longer.

I would like to add that I think it is quite readable and would make an interesting movie. I wrote it as a reaction to all the sequels, adaptations, and rip-offs out there in movieland. I really just wanted to write an original piece of work since I spent so much time with English.

In fact, I enjoyed it so much I am planning on writing an adaptation of a short story by Etgar Keret next. It's not like I dislike sequels, adaptations and rip-offs... There should be other choices, and if you have ever read Mr. Keret you will know that he isn't exactly a with-the-grain kinda writer.

Peace, love, and politics,
m

Skype

2009-06-16T09:32:00.000-07:00

I am wondering about teaching English using Skype today. I have talked with my students about it, and it is something they are interested in. Has anyone out there ever tried it?

I'm back - with a focus!

2009-06-09T06:18:00.001-07:00

I now have the most interesting and challenging class of my teaching career. At night I am teaching 5 Somalian students who cannot read or write. I am not versed in literacy education but I am learning fast. The hardest thing to do when teaching ESL to students who can't speak a lick is to go so s-l-o-w t-h-a-t y-o-u f-o-r-g-e-t h-o-w t-o s-p-e-a-k English yourself. If they can't understand you then you are all alone in the classroom. Comprehensible input is the key. In fact, I go so slow with these students that I have a hard time speaking with native speakers after I am finished; my friends asking me why I am flailing my arms and slobbering when I meet them after night classes for a drink. (After I teach advanced classes I cannot think of the actual word for anything, only the definitions for the words I would like to say.)

The 5 Somalian students are older learners, 50/60 years old I assume, and they aren't as fortunate and Arabic speakers, whose accent translates well into English, Spanish speaking students, whose alphabet and expose to English makes it easier on them, or even my Asian students, who have a knack for learning and who study more than I ever have. I guess I understand the culture, as much as this gringo can without ever going to Somalia, and I at least know about the pirates (who has pirates?) and that besides Eritrea it is the only country without a functioning government.

My students remind me of the beginning of humanity. They're from the cradle of civilization, and I can imagine that life has changed quite a bit since the beginning, but I also imagine that it has changed less for them than it has for anyone who is able to read this post.

They strictly follow Islam, they take an unsanctioned break at sundown to pray and they ask for help with the soda and snack machines. (The next lesson is on the value of money.) Islam is something I had to learn to understand because I was somewhat naive and uneducated about it before working here. There is a big difference between Saudi Arabia and Somalia when it comes to religion. In fact, the dumbed down version of course, is that there is a big difference between Saudi Arabia and every other Muslim nation.

Blah! I do not want this to turn into anything political or religilous! But the different headscarves and women's dress is IMPOSSIBLE not to mention. And the prayer breaks...

An English Language Adventure

2009-04-16T12:36:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking about starting an English Language Adventure course for the summer months! I want to travel with about seven students throughout the United States and teach English along the way. There's so much to see and do and I've got experience doing it. I'd like to share that experience with other (both teaching English and traveling the United States. I figure we can make it from KC to Southern California and back in about four weeks. So if you know anyone who might be interested please let me know.

Mark

The Rock

2009-01-08T17:29:00.000-08:00

Here's a rock shot for everyone. I don't start teaching until Monday. Argh, what am I going to do without my son tonight? I am going out on the town to reach out, over the counter and grab a few beers. Our album should be out soon.

Merry Christmas Folks

2008-12-30T15:43:00.000-08:00

Hello everybody! If you stop by here and want to leave me a message I'll be more than happy to get back with you. Work is good, life is good and I really like being a teacher at X-Mas time. Peace Out!

This is our album cover, finished at last. If you want a Bovine Arrival disk leave you information here and I'll send you one. We're playing at Bottomfeeder Bay on New Year's Eve, look the fuck out!

Barack Obama!

2008-11-12T16:43:00.000-08:00

Things are good as far as I am concerned... I like to see history being made, I want to be a part of a happy world and I think the world will be happier than when Clinton was president. I like John McCain and there isn't any reason he shouldn't have been the president for the last eight years. Obama is a reaction to W. and it is the best reaction I could have forseen. I have been following Obama since before the primaries, I drove to St. Louis to see him speak quite a while ago, and I am interested in seeing what happens over the course of the next eight years.

That being said, I am a libertarian again. Fuck the establishment! hahaha! I sound like my friend Ana de venezula living in florida...

Obama McCain

2008-10-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

So glad to see people still here! Feels like friends!

I'm in the lab with my students again tonight, Wednesday, and I have them watching the debate on TV. I only have one student who likes McCain and I think he is crazy. He's actually great... crazy.

Those pictures are screwed up, I'll try it again. Peace,
m

Tonight in the lab

2008-10-08T18:07:00.000-07:00

I'm a bad blogger, a bald blogger, a bad bald blogger... Who cares? People get carried away with these things. I've had friends find this blog and leave comments. I haven't been myself lately. I guess I just don't like to work. It's a funny thing, to love your job but to hate work in general, makes you fucking crazy.

I'm in the lab with my students tonight. They seem to like it. The ones who know how to use computers like it more than the ones who don't. Motivation is the key to teaching, I believe that big time.

Anyway, I am going to post a real time picture now.

ESL in the Night

2008-08-28T19:37:00.002-07:00

I am letting my new students get on teh internet for the first time tonight. Many of them have been in the USA for les than a month and they have heard all about this thing but they haven't ever actually seen it. I noticed when I let them go at it, a couple of them went straight to Youtube! Funny. The first thing they go to is the most mindless thing out there. Of course they have heard of google and yahoo, but youtube?

How the hell is everyone? there doesn't seem to be a lot of everyone left anymore... that's okay. Its like the end of Dr. Strangelove, the song, we'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when, but we'll meet again some sweet day? Does that work? Gotta get back to my estudiantes.

Peace

2008-08-28T19:37:00.001-07:00

New Job

2008-08-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

Looks like I am teaching college starting Monday. I can't wait. I'll miss my kids but I'll have new bigger ones soon. I'm terrible at keeping up with this blog but I'm always interested in seeing who has stopped by while I was away. Soon, since I'll have a job, I'll be able to stop by here more and more and then it'll be back where it used to be.

Cocoa Beach

2008-07-21T11:19:00.000-07:00

I've been away, surfing. Trying to surf. Fishing, drinking, skateboarding, of which I am very proud of myself because I do not skate. Steve had a long board skateboard, right up my alley. I'll post some pictures soon. How is everyone here? I'll check out your blogs and say hi soon, I promise. No band, no more Bottomfeeder, moving into the city hopefully soon. Downtown! Peace

Buenos Dias!

2008-06-11T07:17:00.000-07:00

Hello there everyone,
Its been a while since I've had time to write one of these things. I've been working at BottomFeeder Bay since the day I got out of school and things are swell... Our band played saturday night and rocked the house. We play again at the competition East Pine Pub on Friday night.

Loads of music and booze since quitting teaching. Its so sad to think that I am not going back. I saw my kids yesterday, when I finally went to clean my room, and it was sad. But part of the reason I was stressed out teaching is because I couldn't save all those little buggers anyway, and I could stand to watch them grow into fuck ups... I don't think teaching has to be a lose-lose situation, but teaching kids who live in the trailer park isn't exactly win-win.

Post pictures soon, out

Avoidance

2008-05-21T05:38:00.000-07:00

I've been avoiding this subject but I think its time to get over it and put it out there for the world to touch, taste, smell and hear... Today is my last day of school! Its better than xmas, its better than my birthdays used to be, its even better New Years Eve! In fact, in my book its right up there with Halloween and St. Patrick's Day, the other best days of the year.

I will be working at the Bottom Feeder Bay starting tomorrow... It is what it is folks.

2008-05-19T10:41:00.000-07:00

The Bottom Feeder Bay will be open in about one week. I'll be cruising to Louisiana to buy some Crawfish and boudain. This picture is from the one private party we've had at the place... It looks so much better now. If you're ever in the Kansas City area you must stop by...

Riding the Train Again
Its almost that time. I have three train trips planned, riding back from St. Louis, riding to Tom Waits in St. Louis and a big trip to Albuquerque.
Oh yeah
I'm going to see Tom Waits in St. Louis. Normally I wouldn't say I have a favorite team or book or author or TV show... But I make one exception. Tom Waits is my favorite. This is a once in a life time show...
Ciao

Its All Bad

2008-05-16T06:15:00.000-07:00

Everything is bad for you... even my damn Nalgene bottle. I bet this is going to put their stock through the roof. Everyone is going to have to replace their old bottles with new ones and who else are they going to buy them from? I'm personally planning on buying a Dixie Cup.

This just in - Wax covered paper causes tooth decay!

My New Sister

2008-05-15T06:16:00.000-07:00

Done deal, married! So I hope everyone who stops here sees why I was so jealous and why I wanted to go to India so badly. Its not often you get a new sister! I have three sisters now... An Indian, a Hungarian and an Italian! Its a small world after all...

This looks like one involved wedding. I've never seen Ankz dress in anything other than Western clothes and I have always thought that he was ugly! haha! Now I see why he thinks he is so beautiful! OMG, I am on a roll.

He probably looks more handsome than usual because he is standing next to his beautiful new wife... If you read this Ankz, thanks for the pictures, leave a comment and hopefully I'll see you and Amruta as soon as possible. In fact, I still have that travel voucher from my failed trip to Washington state...

Crappy Days

2008-05-13T07:25:00.001-07:00

We all have them...
Today is one. I'm not even sure its a crappy day, its just so surreal that I can't get a grip. I can only try to explain it here. I'm not stationed on this planet today, which makes it hard to deal with other people and that's what makes this whole day kinda crappy. The positive side of not being here now is that I don't want to be here, on this planet, with these people, trying to understand things that I don't care about, feeling like I have to do things that don't even register. Don't get me wrong, I love these people for who they are, but you can love someone and not want to talk to them. You can love your job and be sick of work. I need a serious change and its coming so I should relax right? I don't think so, not today.

I have had consistent dreams of California since I left there when I was ten. I went there last summer and I want to go back to stay for a while. I need some strength for fucks sake. I can't keep my eyes open right now... I don't want to have to keep them open. That means that I should just fall asleep right here in class! But I'm not that strong. This is going no where today...

Dancing with the stars, the stars in heaven...

2008-05-12T07:40:00.000-07:00

Our show was amazing! We played for four hours and every minute of the four hours someone was dancing. That never happens... They were dancing to slow songs even. The place was packed and when we took a break to get a drink it was impossible! I've never been so happy about not being able to get served. Luckily, when you are in the band there are lots of ways to circumvent the bar. Like going up the owner or getting cozy with the bar tender... whatever it takes.

The owner is a cool guy! At the end of the night, when most owners would be trying to kick people off the stage, he was standing front and center screaming his head off for another song! His bartender got on the microphone and told him to shut up or the cops would be there to arrest him stat! She wasn't nearly as drunk as he was.

And girls, oh my god, I have never seen so many hot girls at one show. I don't even think Poison in their prime could have competed with the dumb guy to hot chick ratio we had going on Friday night!

Thank god no one tried to throw their stinky panties on me or anything! haha!

Thinking Again

2008-05-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

Tonight is a show! HOoray! I love to play live. Its a feeling like no other and you can't really explain how much fun it is, you have to experience it. Watching a show is similar I guess, but the difference is obvious. Would I rather go watch my favorite musician play at a jammed packed stadium or would I rather play a show at a shitty bar for 100 adoring fans? I would much rather play a show!

Hopefully it doesn't rain cause this bitch is outside. Its rained before and he has purchased a tarp since last summer but playing under the stars would be ideal. Its supposed to rain, tear.

We're playing for four hours. That gives us a chance to bring the mood up and then bring it back down then take a break then jump right back into it! I fucking love that. Keep 'em guessing. Maybe we'll even do some drums stuff and an acoustic song or two. God, if we played covers we could actually make money at this. Too bad we will never ever sell out! Too bad my ass!

Cuanto Cuesta?

2008-05-01T06:54:00.000-07:00

I've contracted a serious photoshop fetish and I've been seriously neglecting my blog. Its worth it! This is the album cover I am voting for! I don't know about the album title tho... If anyone has any thoughts I would love to hear them. You might name the next huge rock album of the century! Its going to come out like Nirvana Nevermind, blow the doors off the rock world, seriously.

That brings up a good point: Dumbass musicians have no choice but to feel that way. If anyone of the six people in our band didn't dream about hitting the big time then we wouldn't be able to keep the momentum up, make it worth it... You've kinda gotta kid yourself, and be cool with that, if you want to be in a band.

Please tell me what you think of the album cover and the title!

Lunes

2008-04-28T05:56:00.000-07:00

What a weekend... I have a new roommate and more importantly I got rid of my two other roommates. So far so great, but that's how it goes with roommates - I could live with anyone for a month and that's all she is planning on staying.

And Joe's moving in at the end of this week. Old Joe dog, we've lived together for years and it was always kinda up and down. Did I learn my lesson? Apparently not.

We lived on Joe Deats Road in Monroe, Louisiana. If you've never been to Monroe its serious bayou, backwoods, coon ass country. North Louisiana is so much different than South Louisiana. Below I-10 is the real Louisiana. North Louisiana isn't as friendly and there isn't as much to do.

One time Joe and I got in a water fight and I sprayed him with the hose, which isn't that strange I guess, except that I brought a garden hose through the window and into the house to spray him with water. That kinda sums up our relationship.

Financial Times

2008-04-25T09:45:00.000-07:00

Me writing a blog about finance... all we need now is the locusts and some frogs and fire falling from the sky and that's the second coming, the one where the man gets really pissed. Frogs on fire falling from the sky... some people would think its cool until a firefrog stuck to their forehead or ended up in their pants.

That last paragraph explains exactly how loopy money makes me, I have little to no concept of it whatsoever. And then when the bank prints me a new card that is missing some numbers, and I pay my bills with these wrong numbers, and the people I paid my bills too come looking for me all at once! There is only one word, one totally inappropriate word that describes how I feel right now, "FUCK!" and not the verb form of the word either, the adjective...

It gets better. I thought it was funny that my taxes weren't getting here as fast as I would like, and now I know. My bank sent them back to George W. Bush so he could wage war with my scrilla. The last person on this earth I want to have my money just got it back... Thanks to my bank.

Usually this stuff is my fault! Like 99%... In fact, this might actually be the first time it really is someone else's fault for real. That makes me feel a little better.

You know who I miss? Molly Ivans, she was such a cool mean person.

India Today

2008-04-22T10:32:00.000-07:00

Two of my greatest friends, one of whom posts on this blog, Ankur, has left for India this afternoon. Beki, whom I have written about, is 7 months pregnant and headed for Pune, India too. I'm worried for her, I'm happy they are going, I'm jealous I am not... Ankur is getting married and I want to be at his wedding, I want to be in India, I want to get the hell outta here for a while.

Teachers might get hella vacation time, but there is no way I could have made this trip. My family is going to Hungary this summer, I can't make it, I am planning on working at the bar instead. Why is it that I need a vacation the worst and I am the last person who is going to get a real vacation? Albuquerque here I come? That doesn't seem right.

Pissy? Yes, jealous sucks, worried sucks. Peace is all there is and that is all I am concentrating on right now. So peace out and om shanti om,

Cold Duck

2008-04-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

Vampire Weekend

I had some stuff to say but I forgot. I have no energy anymore. Not even the energy to write in this blog. Coffee and cigs aren't cutting it anymore. I need to get out and about, feel the wind in my hair, jump off of something and into something else (like a bridge or a cliff into some cool water). I need to fly somewhere, take a fishing trip, go canoing on the river, some-damn-thing to make things seem worth while.

Music is my saving grace. I can pick up my guitar and be on vacation anytime. Its better than anything. So listen to Vampire Weekend (the bass player is scott baio's nephew, strange, but don't hold it against them.) and I still haven't reached 1000 hits.

Cuando el tiempo es estrange, el estrange van pro

My Turn

2008-04-18T08:47:00.000-07:00

Hopefully by completing this survey I will surpass the 1000 hits mark on my blog today!

What I was doing 10 years ago: Ten years ago I was getting out of the Air Force, starting college, taking a road trip across the USA, going to a rainbow gathering, and breaking up with my first real girlfriend. I was a busy little beaver.

Five Snacks I enjoy:I don't really snack and I'll eat anything when I am hungry. How about five snacks I would love to enjoy - 1. Wasabe peas, 2. Hummus, 3. Are hot wings a meal or snack? 4. An apple. 5. Anything the kindergarten teacher will give me when I beg... usually goldfishes

Five Things I would do if I were a billionaire: 1. Buy a hot car. 2. Travel everywhere. 3. Buy a lot of land. 4. Design and build my own house(s). 5. Become an activist...

Five jobs that I have had: (This one will be good.) 1. Able Bodied Seaman, just like Deadliest Catch. 2. Bomb Loader 3. Assistant Editor at Gumbeaux Magazine, an African-American magazine in Lake Charles, Louisiana. 4. Bartender in New Orleans, 5. Alligator swamp tour guide in Slidell, Louisiana.

Three of my habits: Smoking (yuck), drinking (yeah), watching TV (yuck)

Five place I have lived: (I've already said N.O. and Slidell) so... Concord and San Diego, California, Denver Colorado, Monroe Louisiana, Knob Noster and Warrensburg, MO

I am playing guess that photo again. I thought that picture of a young Willie Nelson was pretty tough. This guy is one of my favorites. Hints available...

Everday Post

2008-04-17T10:02:00.001-07:00

I had something to write about... nothing big. What was it? It has something to do with the Polyphonic Spree?

Oh yeah, the new music I have been running into: Man Man too - they're great!

Army of Me

2008-04-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

Why is this underlined?

I still don't have anything I'd like to say...Strange. Still Underlined
I'll let Bjork say it for me today.

You're alright
There's nothing wrong
Self-sufficience please
And get to work

My Poor Tongue, My Broken Fingers...

2008-04-15T07:55:00.000-07:00

I have begun to realize that it is hard for me to be cool, but when I can be cool, like on stage Saturday night, I can be really cool. That's the danger of having an image, when its not working it sucks! Hot and Cold, I don't even know what I am talking about.

My blog entires are now to be shrouded in mystery, are better yet, shrouded in ideas... Nothing tangible anymore. Everything revolves around ideas anyway. Having fun isn't really a tangible thing is it? I guess beer is pretty real. .. . May be I should just start posting in Morse Code or short hand... How about Espanol?

I will post video of our show on Saturday night sometime soon.

The Sweetest Thing

2008-04-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

Our show on Saturday night rocked so hard it still hurts. We wound up dancing until 4am and my legs are sore. I'm not sure exactly what to say because it hasn't sunk in yet. I think that is great, like walking on a cloud for a couple of days. The more clouds the better.

This is an old picture from Costa Rica. I'm posting it because its cool and I don't really have anything to talk about, except I that have everything to talk about.

New Movie, New Job

2008-04-11T05:58:00.000-07:00

City of God! What a movie... I can't believe I waited this long to see it. Certianly in my list of top ten favorites ever.

I'll be working at The Bottom Feeder (that is the name of my brother's bar) next year. I have a feeling that there are going to be some ups and downs, a period or adjustment coupled with some shouting matches. If I can go into it with an open mind, honestly, then I think it will work out just fine.

We're booking bands and looking for menu ideas... The name of this place "The Bottom Feeder" is pretty much set in stone, but I still want to know what people think of the name? All I can say is that it wasn't my idea and the biggest reason he went with this particular name is because people either love it or hate it. Would you eat at a place called the Bottom Feeder?

Peace

Wikipedia Research for Mis Patos

2008-04-10T06:40:00.000-07:00

I was going to teach "La Cucaracha" in class today. I knew the history of the song was very important to Mexican culture, but its too "cool" to teach to 7th grade. This song is a good example of why its very important for teachers to research the material they are going to give their classes before they send them off to work.

"La Cucaracha" ("The Cockroach") is a traditional Spanish language folk song of the genre known as a corrido, that became popular in Mexico during the Mexican Revolution.

Origins
The ultimate origin of "La Cucaracha" is unsettled, but it gained its greatest popularity during the Mexican Revolution of the early 20th century. However, the song is mentioned in 1883, and possibly as early as 1818. Although it is speculated that it may be of Spanish origin, there is no reliable source for this, nor does the song appear in any other Latin American country.

Lyrics
The lyrics consist of independent verses, often improvised. It is similar to Yankee Doodle, The Burning of the School or On Top of Old Smoky. One typical and most familiar verse is as follows:

La cucaracha, la cucaracha
Ya no puede caminar
Porque no tiene, porque le falta
Marihuana pa' fumar

English
The cockroach, the cockroach
Can't walk anymore
Because it doesn't have, because it's lacking
Marijuana to smoke.

The reference to marijuana arose during a period of time---approximately the time of the Mexican Revolution---when the word cucaracha was also a slang term for marijuana or a marijuana cigarette stub (hence the term "roach" in American slang).

I know I talk a lot of smack about the irony of me being a teacher, but I'm really good at it. I think its because I can actually relate to the students. But I can feel myself becoming desensitized more and more every day.

Update:
I taught this one:

La cucaracha, la cucaracha
Ya no puede caminar
Porque la falta, porque la falta
Un pie para caminar

Crazy Ideas That Must Be Purged!

2008-04-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

So now that I'm not teaching school next year, and especially considering that I have no plan for the future, sans a few job applications I have filled out, I am kind of thinking about what it is I will do to FEED MYSELF AND MY CHILD! I feel as if I have to purge the crazy ideas and get to the ideas that will actually pay the bills.

I think I have a man crush.

Arrested Development is today's source of inspiration. I want to develop land, businesses, residential properties, maybe get a contract to build a strip mall in Iraq or something like that... So I'm going with it until the idea has been purged. I re-set up my Bloomberg account, subscribed to the New York Times and downloaded a PDF on taking the test for a realtor's liscense.

When I began my career as a English as a Second Language teacher it was my opportunity to travel the world, plus I used to like kids. Now I only like one or two... When my son was born my wings were clipped and although they are growing back bit by bit (I will see the rest of this world, all of it, I promise) they are still short and stubby.

Now I like land, I like money, I want responsible, sustainable land development. I like urban properties, I like rural wide open spaces, it all interests me very much.

In fact, having a kid is a good reason to travel and see the world. He's not going to be allowed to live in the middle of nowwhere Missouri for the rest of his life. Hell, he's only two and he's been to New Orleans, Denver, St. Louis, Kansas City, not a bad start. And this summer he'll be taking the train to Albuquerque with his Dad. Can't wait for that trip!

On Being a Teacher

2008-04-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

I read a blog earlier today, by a first year teacher, and I was suprised how sexy and over-the-top it was. She wrote about a random memory, on the dance floor with some dude, bumping and grinding, grinding and bumping....she ended up at home, curled up in the fetal position, alone. Funny shit! I've said it before, teachers are screwed up. Myself included.

Anyway, she inspired me to write about a random memory I recently recollected, (more like someone recollected for me) about some guy at a party sticking a gun in my face. Thinking about that memory brought about loads of other inappropriate memories - that was the first of three guns that were pulled on me, there was an incident with a fouth and a game of craps, I've been stabbed twice, maced twice and I now teach kindergarten. Its a crazy mixed up world.

On the positive side, I've never been in a car accident and the only time I've really been arrested was because I saw some guy punching a girl in the face and while I broke up the fight the cops came... I've got a Bachlor's Degree and a Master's Degree, who knows how many good books I've read, places I've been, beers I've drank. (If you like to travel go to Alaska and NYC... they're the best!) And I'm the best Dad....

And I'm finished teaching for now. After this contract I am moving on, working at a bar or something. I'd really like to make some money. Once I'm done teaching I can start talking about the really good stuff on this blog!

Anyway, the butterfly effect brought this rant on... Where is that goddamn butterfly that flapped his wings in my direction? Sometimes I look back and say "That was interesting." Sometimes I look around and think, "How did I get myself in this fucking mess?" and other times I think, "What the hell am I gonna do now?" I have such a love/hate relationship with my butterfly.

In the hopes of creating some good karma for myself (jinxed it!) I am putting a link on here for people who have never heard of Edward Gorey. If you have heard of him look at it anyway, its in English as Spanish... maybe you'll learn something!http://comunidad.ciudad.com.ar/argentina/capital_federal/visualmix/vonzai/gorey.html

थे पस्त

2008-04-08T07:01:00.001-07:00

Giving Advice - A cautionary tale...

2008-04-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

The names have been omitted to protect the guilty.

A close friend of mine had been prescribed meds because of severe anxiety. He was/is a great guy, but also a bit of a side show attraction. He stood 6 feet tall, shaved his obviously red head and grew a 8 inch goatee that he constantly stroked and talked about. He was proud of being a bit of a sideshow attraction.

This was during the late 90s and we were mostly college students and drinking buddies. I was 23, 24 years old and seriously thought I knew everything. College was easy for me, but not so much for my friend.

So I tried to help him out... I told him that maybe his meds were the reason he was having trouble in school. I was reading a lot of Uncle Bill (William Seward) Burroughs at the time and was under the impression that doctors were quacks and apparently heroine dealers? Impressionable. Hindsight is a bitch.

I don't actually claim total responsibility for his behavior or for him quitting taking his meds because he was an adult and I was just giving some friendly advice, but there is a grey area here where the advice you give creates havoc and sends people away...

I can definitely hear myself saying, "Man, you don't need that shit. You're not crazy. (He didn't always seem crazy to me, but there were times.) Those doctors have you hooked on that stuff. Or... They're just trying to make money off you. (Which I still don't think is completely false.)

I think you can see where this is going. He quit taking his meds, went to a restaurant and flipped over some table, took a leak on the floor of McDonalds, that sort of stuff... He went on a rampage all over town.

Maybe this post isn't about giving advice. That's an egotistical thing. This post is about taking advice. People are always going to give you advice. So be careful, or you might wind up in the asylum like my friend.

I received a phone call from him about a year ago, from the farm... That would have put him at almost 9 years away. Ouch! He's still there as far as I know.

To Build a Fire

2008-04-03T10:26:00.001-07:00

Last night I took little Ben to Mark Park and we built a fire in the woods. Mark Park is where my father accidentally burned part of his acrage down and I turned into a place to relax and enjoy nature. I named it Mark Park in honor of myself and all other people named Mark. (haha! actually they rymn.)

We flew a kite, layed in the hammock and played with the dogs. That is my favortie stuff to do without a doubt. Anyway, I am going to do a controlled burn and clear this park out so it looks professional, put a picnic table and lawn chairs, tent sites and a tire swing... its going to be awesome. I'll have to take some before and after pictures for my blog.

Terrence and I stayed and chit chatted until about 10pm last night. If it wasn't raining I would do the same thing tonight.

Burned Out, Man!

2008-04-02T07:41:00.000-07:00

Burned myself out on April Fools Day. I swear I drank more coffee and fucked off more yesterday than I ever have before. I was amped, as you might be able to tell my the length of my post. That's why this is it for today.

peace

Record Setting April Fools Day!

2008-04-01T06:19:00.000-07:00

And its only 8:17! I told the school nurse and the preschool teacher that we have a new preschooler named Pablo Escobar. They bought it. I told the first grade teacher that her worst nightmare has come true: there are standardized testing booklets at the front door for first grade. Fidelina, my sixth grade student, probably thinks she doesn't have to take the tests that arrive today. Hopefully she doesn't turn out too screwed up after spending two years with me as her English teacher!

Gee whiz! I am going to miss these other teachers and kids after I am finished with this contract. I certianly have to move on, its past time, but this was my first pubic school teaching gig and I will never have another experience like this one.

But its April Fools Day and it time to start thinking about getting the big Cheese, the person who taught me what April Fools is all about, my Mother! And my Grandmother, but she's older and not as hard to get anymore... It usually takes me about three hours to think of something that will get my Mom. She has her radar on, guarenteed. This post is going to have to be an on going thing.

It took me 5 minutes to think of something. Its better to get her early when she is still sleeping. I e-mailed her and told her I left the coffee pot on and that it was empty. Haha! Burning down the house, her number one fear and her number one April Fool's Day joke! When I was 12 she told me our house burned to the ground, then called all my Aunt's and Uncle's and told them too!

Update: Okay, it worked. She initally freaked! But I'm telling you, it doesn't take her long to figure this stuff out. She just e-mailed me and said my dog got hit by a car. WEAK. Now every time I talk to her she is going to have her radar on. But its not impossible to get her. I have to incorporate others into the scheme, namely, Zseralidina, my Hungarian sis-in-law.

Update: I gave up on my Mom. I could tell her anything, even the truth, and she wouldn't believe it at this point. I've never got my Dad, no one has. So today is the day! We usually don't try too hard because he can get really pissy. His sense of humor isn't at all warped and his feelings get hurt very easily. So this is going to get me in trouble. Anyway, I e-mailed him and asked him for some advice about school. I said I saw a fight on the playground through my window and asked if I should report it or keep it under my hat. If he says I should report it I am going to say I didn't and that some kids saw me watching the fight and that my principal is pissed that I didn't report it! If he says I should keep it under my hat, I am going to tell him that I already reported it and that the principal chewed out the teacher that was on recess duty and that she got sent home from school early and that she is pissed at me for going over her head. Either way I win.

Update: Did I mention my Dad is very smart and it is very hard to get him? Here is what he wrote: Just go to the kid who did the punching and punch him so he knows how it feels. Uh, April Fools. One step ahead of me Pops!

This is what my Mom wrote after I sent her the same e-mail:
>was it the counselor that yelled at both of them or another teacher? If
they go to the principal's office to get expelled I would definitely speak up

And this is what I wrote back: Well, its too late. I didn't say anything and they both got suspended for three days. That poor little kid didn't even do anything. If I say something now the principal will be pissed because I made him look like a jerk.

Update: I'm getting no work done today, none. But check out this conversation I had with my best buddy Ankur. Google chat is so cool.

10:29 AM me: I got fired today
ankur: WHT?
me: I think I am going to leave for California tomorrow
for a break
10:30 AM ankur: WHAT THE HELL?
me: can I stya two weeks?
ankur: what happened?
yeah.....
me: I punched a kid in the nose
ankur: What?
what kid?
me: yeah, he called me a faggot and I bitch slapped him
a second grader
ankur: Are you serious?
me: i hope they don't press charges
10:31 AM I'll end up in jail
probably get ass raped
this sucks
ankur: You not kidding?
this is serious?
me: Have you read my blog lately?

ankur: yes......but not the latest one
10:32 AM me: I've been recording the events of the day on it today
you can read about everything that has happened
ankur: You got to be kidding dude
me: including, especially including this conversation
ankur: I hope you are
why would you do something like that?
me: this conversation might be the best one yet
ankur: punch a kid
me: bitch slapped his ass
10:33 AM like a punk
poor little devil
bet he never calls anyone else a fag again
10:35 AM ankur: I should have guessed
Fucker
you Got me
me: I have my tickets
hahaha
yes, I did
ankur: You did
me: and I have a transcript of the entire thing for people to read

ankur: But I am glad it s not true
HAHA
NICE
I a glad that it didnt happen
10:36 AM You have no idea...you totally threw off my balance
me: good
keeps you in check
that'[s what this day is all about
reality check
ankur: YES
its kinda cool
me: how will you act in a uncomfortable situation?

ankur: you put me down...and then I came up
and it feels good
the up and down
induction
me: you, my friend, are prone to a freak out

Update: Grandama and Grandpa were too easy. I almost felt bad but not really. I told him that I was from the pound and that I had a dog named Bozo "down here" and he needed to come pick him up. They had a dog named Bozo for years, he died about five years ago. I said, "He's got a collar with your name and phone number on it, so that means you are responsible for him." That's when he almost blew his top. He said, "Buddy, I'm gonna come down there. But it ain't gonna have nothing to do with no dog." Or some good old boy shit... Then when I told him it was me, he said that I was lucky cause he was gonna get out his knife and stab whomever was making demands over the phone.

Shane, my other best bud since high school and lead singer in my band, got it good. I told him that water had leaked through the roof of the bar and ruined about $3000 worth of band equipment. He was fucking livid! He said that he had put a trash bag over the top of it, something which I had no idea about, and I said "Well, someone must have removed it." When he finally found out I was just fucking with him he said he was getting ready to go find the person who took the trash bag off.

Only two people got me today - a fourth grader told me I had mustard on my face, we had chicken and noodles for lunch today (with homemade noodles, our lunch ladies rock!) and some girl's blog had a black and white picture from highschoolclassmates.com or some shit, the one that says "she's a model now". I looked at it and thought, I know that person, she's a model now? wtf?

Fare thee well, ides of March

2008-03-31T11:39:00.002-07:00

Screw this cold ass March! Coldest ever, its over, winter, and tomorrow is my favorite holiday - April Fools Day. One of the teachers said she hated when April Fools Day falls on a week day because the kids are such pains. I am going to get her so good tomorrow! I'm trying to think of something that's only boarderline appropriate. How about hiding all her kids in the closet! She would freak! They would love it. I'm open for suggestions.

Bek's gone. I love the sound of her voice when she is happy. I think things can start getting better now.

Had a fight on the play ground and remembered a valuable lesson of youth. Do not get your butt kicked by a girl and then cry about it! You might have problems getting a girlfriend later in life. I could use that advice now. Except I'd rather get the crap kicked out of me than have my heart broken. .. . So I'm just going to try and be cool.

So...

2008-03-31T08:06:00.000-07:00

Bek has come and gone, kinda, she's still in Missouri but I won't see her before she gets on the plane. Twelve hours wasn't very long. She's pregnant with some guy's baby. What the hell is wrong with me? This is no fucking fun, I promise that. And I like to have fun, she likes to have fun, we haven't had fun together in years.

And as hard as it is and as fucked up as things are right now, I still know she's the coolest person I've ever met. Undeniable. Makes it really hard to move on but what am I supposed to say? She's not the coolest? It would be a lie. I went through this with baby momma so it should get easier right? It doesn't. I tried to convince myself that Bek and I weren't awesome but we really were. And I tried to convince myself that Sara and I could be awesome but we really couldn't.

Hopefully I can at least look forward to some blunt honesty from Bek in the future. There are a few things I would like to get off my chest. I guess that's why I am purging here. Two wrongs don't make a right. How about 2000 or 2,000,000? FUCK! I can come back from anything.

If you don't know me then I will be honest and say that I am the type of person who will bide time, wait till shit stacks up to the ceiling and then deal with the mess I have created. I'll probably wait till the baby pops out and then say, what the fuck is a matter with us?!?!?! Yes, I am a stupid ass and so are you! We are both very very stupid. Reminds me of the lessons I learned working at the Chinese Restaurant.

You want to go to casino? Fuck You! - Thomas

I went to the casino this weekend and won $50. I never win, but I didn't drink, I didn't play slots and I only stayed for one hour. Those are the rules Tommy (Thomas) set for the casino and I think they are pretty good. There is still luck involved but at least you give yourself a chance that way. If I drank, played slots and stayed all night I guarentee you I would not have walked out with $50.

Picture by Underwear Nose Bleed

2008-03-28T12:12:00.000-07:00

Picture at the bar/construction zone

What a day, today!

2008-03-28T08:13:00.000-07:00

Beki, my ex-girl friend of seven years, is comming to town tonight. She is five months pregnant and I am going to pick her up at the airport. I guess the strange part about all of it is that it isn't strange. We're were always better friends than anything else, although we did enjoy nice weekend get-a-ways, dinners and diners... I have to say the only reason I have had a hard time hooking up is because most girls I have met can't compete with her. She a PhD, she does research in the Everglades, rides around in a helicopter. Not that baby momma isn't a cool chick, it just turned out that it wasn't meant to be. This is something I never really talk about, so soak it up because it is usually better to just avoid the really tough shit in life. Relationships, politics, religion, aren't they a bitch?

So I'm looking for jobs in Kansas City, cruising the internet. I've kinda shuffled myself into this teaching gig and I'm not opposed to shuffling myself out of it. Sometimes I'm curious to see just how well round I can become. I've learned to focus on teaching but here are a list of jobs I have had since I started working:
Sonic, Kitchen Manager at Tyson, Security Guard at Chicken Farm, worked at KFC for one day, United States Air Force, car detailing, car salesman for about three months, Assistant editor at Gumbeaux Magazine in Lake Charles, Louisiana, ESL tutor, (this is where I learned what it was I thought I wanted to do with my life) Able Bodied Seaman for Tidewater Marine, tutor in writing center at ULM, tutor in writing center at CMSU, Academic Advisor (GA) at CMSU, elementary and middle school ESL and Spanish teacher. Most of the time I was going ot school for either by BA in English or MA in TESL, and now I'm ready for the next step. It kinda exciting not knowing exactly what that step will be but I do have to admit I've never been more scared now that I have a child.

Lesson for the day: Children are scary!

Yesterday I had a uprising in 7th grade Spanish class. I had nightmares about it last night. Today, they were quiet as little old church mice.

Somuchfun - like a parrot crossed with a really smart puppy

2008-03-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

On the Train
He's going to be 2 in like 10 days and he is by far the coolest person I have ever met. He is happy, he is nice when you are nice, mean when you are mean, I wish I could say he is a little mini-me but he looks like his mother. Fortunately we get along well, its a 50/50 type situation and I hate giving him up when it is her turn and she hates giving him up when it is my turn.

I guess I didn't realize that a 2 year old can be funny on purpose. He hides, gets so excited about the most insignificant stuff, he hates it when I tease him and call him Tiddler, "No, BEN!" He can tell stories with two words, "Train, choo-choo! Daddy!" He loves to eat, but hates whatever I give him, applesauce is everything from yogurt to chocolate pudding, which he had for breakfast this morning. Shhhhh! Don't tell his mom, she'll probably start giving it to him too.

He loves to party with his dad because his dad knows how to party. I really don't know what I would do without him.

WTF!?!?!?

2008-03-27T10:00:00.001-07:00

I thought I was doing all right, not sweating the small stuff, not worried about much except finding a new job, spending good times with my son, and then I find myself filling out a profile for yahoo personals. What the hell is wrong with me. Sure, I'm lonely sometimes, but this is no way to go about. Why am I so opposed to meeting someone on the internet? Reality is what you make of it, right? Now I'm fucking stressed, feeling old and tired. I thought I had really dealt with all that shit. 32 is the prime of my life. No offense to hot young 23 year olds, but I wouldn't want to be that age again. Would I date a 23 year old? Hell yes, but girls are more mature than boys. I actually don't know how a 23 year old girl could date a 23 year old boy.

Anyway, I'm thinking about buying tickets to Hawaii to see my cousin, can't bring my son but that's okay, I am gonna chill the fuck out. I have $375 in travel vouchers from United, the dirty letter worked, and I am going to put the last vacation to shame. (I did hear there was an awesome girl fight at the dinner table on Easter at the people house we were supposed to be staying at. Missed it.) I wasn't so sure about skiing anyway. I'm wondering about other places besides Hawaii, places I've been, hell, I've been a lot of places. All the 50 states except Maine, NH, Vermont, Mass, RI, I could probably hit those little states in one day. Mexico and Canada, I'm thinking about Vancouver. Of all the places I've been I would have to say NYC and Alaska have been the coolest. Maybe revisit? I don't know if that makes sense. I've been to Hawaii twice... Can't make it to Europe, or Central America on $375, and if I could I'd go to Hungary to see Gabi and Zolton, my sister -in-laws folks.

WTF?!?!?!? I am so rambling on about nothing today. I feel like I need mental help, like a shrink or something. Binge and Purge

The Train

2008-03-25T07:28:00.000-07:00

So I missed my flight because of the overflux of frat boys at the Kansas City Airport. Spring Break and United Suck! Over booked by twenty people, had us wait three hours for a flight to Washington DfuckingC, not Washington state...I'm going to write them a dirty dirty e-mail

Rode the train with my son this weekend, from St. Louis to Warrensburg. Strange how a weekend or long weekend can take on a theme. I was eating chicken wings at a restaurant with my big Italian brother Mike-Mike and I got a call from Tony (who is not Italian btw), my friend who I was supposed to be skiing in Washington State with at that very moment. I figured he was calling to gloat, which he was, but he was really calling to tell me about Laynie, a girl we know, who threw herself in front of a train and died on Friday night.

Poor poor Laynie... The conductor announced our stop and as I walked down the stairs with Benjamin I realized we were looking at the exact spot where she had died two nights before. I had seen the ambulances and firetrucks, police and others the night that it happened and I knew something bad had happened but I figured it was a car that got hit, not a young girl I knew.

I still love trains and young girls. Life is just so damn sad sometimes.

Postal

2008-03-12T07:48:00.001-07:00

Going postal at school, hopefully going postal on vacation, going postal on my roommates, not literally of course.

What an adjective! Postal. One word that was created because of psycho employees of the USPS! Government employees of all people. What would your adjective be called? Mine would be called going teacher... or more likely going teacher on your ass. I've had to go teacher on my roommates this week. They paid the wrong bill and we got our gas shut off. Idiots! I don't know how I expected them to manage my house, pay bills, keep things clean...

Here are some off the top of my head:
going fry cook
going car salesman
going garbageman
going sales clerk
car salesman and sales clerk sound annoying
fry cook sounds going dumbass
going garbageman sounds like going home, watching TV, drinking beer and not taking a shower... why bother?
disclaimer: yes, these are all stereotypes.

No one likes to argue anymore

2008-03-03T19:57:00.000-08:00

I feel like I have to say dumb shit to get a rise out of anyone anymore. Will someone please argue with me? I'm sure we can find something to disagree about. What's your favorite color? What music do you listen to? Cats or dogs? (Dogs for sure) I can argue about anything.

How about a picture?

Cashing in on Hope

2008-03-03T07:20:00.000-08:00

I've got hope! I've had hope for years. It just hit me, where does it end? What do I even have hope in or for or what the hell ever? Misguided might just be my middle name. I've been thinking about getting to the right point by taking the wrong direction. Jumping in shit and coming out smelling like a rose. It might be the only option I have left because I have obviously made some bad decisions in my life. Can I still come out smelling like a rose? Yes I can! That's is exactly what I hope for. To brush this shit off, to make my life interesting again, to turn this shitty place into something worthwhile again and most importantly, to get the hell outta here when the opportunity presents itself.

One thing I have hoped for is certainly coming to and end: The end of the George W. Bush regime! I must say a little about my politics here. I don't vote for a party, I vote for the individual. I think I'm a pretty good judge of character and I'm sure I can spot a good old boy or a shrill bitch from across the room! haha! Cheap shot and I actually love the Clinton family, but we've been there already, and I really really like Barack Obama. If its between Clinton and McCain, who I also like since I teach ESL and appreciate his stance on immigration, I'm by no means making up my mind for either candidate. Christ, where is this going? Oh yeah, somehow I was going to write about blaming society for your problems. Its something I think about often because I was so happy during the Clinton years and so miserable during the Bush administration.

Its okay to blame society for your problems. If you are poor and live in Africa you want some damn money, if you're relatively rich and live in the USA then you want to keep your money and security. You depend on the people in charge. So what if I'm blatantly comparing money with happiness? It's a metaphor, its Monday morning, I just put gas in my car, I'm driving back from Washington State in two weeks and I wish gas was $1 again...

There it is! Gas! A perfect example of how you can blame society for your problems.

Upside Down

2008-02-25T12:44:00.000-08:00

Its time to start being good. I haven't been good in years. I'm not even sure I've ever been good in a priestly sense, in a good priestly sense anyway. So maybe I'm not going to be good exatly, but I am going to do some good things. I'm going to a Sioux Indian reservation to do some charity work August 3rd - 9th. But before that I'm going to throw a benefit concert to raise money for the reservation. And if that works I'm going to throw a party to raise money to go to Africa in November.

So, send me some money I guess. Its funny how much charity work has in common with selling cars. And how bad I am at asking people for money. How the hell am I supposed to do this? "Hey Father, I know I haven't been to church in two years but can I have $1000 for the sick kids in Africa?" Nope. I guess that why they say, do what you know. Keggers for Christ. That's all I can do.

Love you,
Peace

The Bovine Arrival

2008-02-20T06:32:00.000-08:00

sonicbids.com/thebovinearrival

Humanity

2008-02-19T06:57:00.000-08:00

Enough fluff. I've either lost or I am losing my faith in humanity and I want to know how to get it back? I don't really believe people are worth spending time and effort on.

On the other hand, I like kids and I hate more than anything to see bad things happen to kids. I can't watch movies with children getting hurt. I can't watch cops, with kids being jerked around by parents and police. These things haven't always affected me.

The only difference between people who help people and the people who need help is that people who help others have some faith in humanity. Other than that they are exactly the same. Every cop is a criminal, remember? Teachers are all screwed up, I'm sure of that. Nurses, screwed up. Social workers, shrinks, public defenders... they are all notoriously messed up. But they all have hope, of which I now consider to be false, that they are doing something positive for humanity. Maybe I don't consider their hope to be false, but that the hope they are looking for is misplaced and they are misguided.

I've acutally been thinking about that concept a lot lately. That golden path to hell being paved with good intentions...Fidel Castro said something that really struck me today, "I just want to be a soilder in the fight for ideas." Even though he is wrong about communism, even though everything he has stood for over the course of the last 50 years is idealogically unsound and lacks creditbilty, he's sitting here, half dead, searching for new ideas. People embrace the ideology whether its right or wrong in so many cases. And there probably isn't even any such thing as right and wrong. If there is its not as easy to know the difference between the two as some people might think.

If you think you know the difference between right and wrong why don't you fill the rest of us in on it?

90.1 KKFI

2008-02-15T12:25:00.000-08:00

Tonight, 2/15/2008, at 8pm central standard time the boys of the Bovine will be playing a radio show on 90.1 KKFI out of Kansas City. I have no idea what to expect - someone might even say a cuss word on the air, God forbid it, but listen. 90.1 KKFI Kansas City, listen on your computer. Listen

There is no "now"

2008-02-08T06:23:00.000-08:00

There is only the past and the future. So if someone tells you to live in the now, tell them you just did. Living in the now ruins the moment and makes it difficult to plan for the fun stuff you'll be doing in the future. Call me a dreamer, call me unenlightened, I'm gonna sit here and stare out the window, think about the house of my dreams, think about going back to Costa Rica, I'm even gonna think about the taxes I need to do tomorrow... and I hate taxes.

I've been reading a book for the second time "Be Here Now" by a fellow named Bab Ram Das. He's a gringo who went to India looking for enlightenment. I wonder what he is doing now? Being here? I don't see him anywhere.

When I read the book the first time I thought I was rebelling against the establishment. At that time in my life I was reading everything I could by the Beats. I still think Jack Kerouac tells a great story and that Uncle Bill Burroughs is the greatest tortured artistic truely enlightened sickest minds ever. I can tell when I read "Be Here Now" exactly how much I've changed over the course of ten years, for better and for worse.

Maybe I'm moving backwards, growing older, losing touch with the youth. (Teaching school will do that to you, seriously! Ever meet a teacher that wasn't a little bitter? Kids have more energy than adults.) Now my idea of living in the moment is recognizing that I am day dreaming about the house of my dreams, something that I do quite often, and stressing over paper work. God I hate paper work. If anyone needs a girlfriend to keep them on track it has always been me.

"Most of the problems in the world are caused by people who can't mind their own business, because they have no business of their own." - William S. Burroughs

Super Fat Tuesday - whole lotta nothin'

2008-02-06T07:08:00.001-08:00

I'm not screwing around with these pictures all day. Paul, T-Dog, Mallory, Little Ben, Me, Ankur, (who little Ben calls Gonk!) And a teaser of the children's book called "What the Cluck?!?!"

Anti-climatic at least. It could be that I am just grumpy because I stayed up until 12 watching my home state of Missouri, and my home county of Johnson, see-sawing, teeter-tottering, and then I realized it didn't matter as much as would like it to. It was interesting but, Jesus, I could have used the sleep. I wouldn't care if I didn't like Barak so much.

The good news - I got a call about the radio show we are doing on Feb. 15th for 90.1 KKFI in Kansas City. It looks like we got the primo spot, right after the Rock-a-Billy Mood Swing program at like 7 o'clock at night on a Friday. We play some of our CD, then an interview, then we play a couple of songs. This shit never goes as planned but it sounds like fun.

I've never put it on here before myspace.com/firebullets but there you go... the link that ends all links. There are new pictures up, with Ben (my brother) now playing the bass. Tell me what you think and I promise to get really drunk and write a post.

I used to get wasted and write all the time. It was always a bunch of crap but it was entertaining crap.

Obama '08

The Day of Two Holiday's

2008-02-05T11:26:00.000-08:00

Happy Fat Tuesday and Super Tuesday! I will consider Super Tuesday my favorite holiday if Barak Obama wins this primary election and goes on to win the national election. Mardi Gras is my favortie now, which will be convient sometimes... Two favorite holidays on one day! (Let me know if you get that joke. I'm not sure I do.)

I must ask if there are any two other holidays within one or two days of each other? I think its a good idea; a good reason for a serious bender. Dia de los muertos and Halloween are within a day of each other. I love both those holidays.

I've been thinking about when I lived in New Orleans a lot today. I talked with the other teachers at lunch and told them horror stories about working in the French Quarter, and I threw in a couple of inappropriate remarks to mess their hair up a little bit. Three out five of them had been to New Orleans before and two of those had been for Mardi Gras.

Sometimes its funny to think about how normal people remember their teachers. I guarenttee you that the perception you had of your teachers was far removed from the reality of how those teachers actually are or were. Teachers must have a high divorce rate, most of them have tattoos, some drink, but really just the younger ones. I can never tell when I talk to another teacher if they drink, smoke, cuss, go to church - they're all somehow the same. I can't put my finger on it, one aspect of every teacher's personality is similar. I have it too, but that doesn't mean I know what it is.

Anyway, Hei Toi and das ven dan ya (I'm learning some Russian this week). I love hearing from people who read my blog! Seriously, say hi.

Absinthe

2008-01-30T12:36:00.000-08:00

Well, Absinthe is legal in the USA now. Like I needed another fucking vice... not to mention another vice that I really enjoy. Not to mention it costs $60 a bottle. If you are somewhere else and can send it here cheaper I would be interested in hearing from you.

I've had the green fairy twice before, once in Chicago and once in New Orleans, and the illegality of the whole thing was probably the most attractive aspect. I didn't really trip-out, or anything. Saturday night I don't even know how much I had. I went to the apartent above the bar, threw up, laid on the bed, thought about running out on the band, then got up and played my ass off for two hours. After that two hours I was so very tired. Then the groupies showed up...

Why can't I meet a nice girl? Trick question or at least a question I already know the answer to. I just wrote the goddamn answer down in the two paragraphs above.

I don't blame the craziness on absinthe, understand, I could do the same things on whiskey, wine, vodka and I'm not even going to mention the "t" word.

I've tried giving up a lot of things in my life and I have rarely succeded. But I have suceeded in giving up the "t" word... I hope it doesn't come to that with absinthe.

Anti-Semitism

2008-01-28T11:52:00.000-08:00

After reading that last post I realized I am nuts. I would erase it but no one reads this crapola anyway... I don't really think Hitler did anything good. But he brought out the best in the people who fought against him? I think that's the point.

Bobby Fischer's picture is comming down from my blog today too. Can't be reopresenting anti-semitism in any form. Palastine or Israel? Israel every time, yo! Did you know Israel is Islam's like thrid most Holy City? That means they have two cities that are more important but that aren't fought over. Mecca must be one. What is the other?

I'm not putting John Kennedy Toole back up either. Too depressing. I am going to devote some time to finding the perfect picture. I should really do some work.

Bobby Fischer

2008-01-18T10:22:00.000-08:00

Bobby Fischer died today at the age of 64. What a freaking wierdo! He's denounced his American citizenship, was clearly anti-semetic (his mother was Jewish) and was the greatest American chess player ever!

Life is irony. He is a great American who denounced his citizenship - cold war king, who praised the 9/11 attacks. If chess mimicks war, Bobby Fischer mimicks life = crazy, life is so fucking crazy.

I don't agree with his politics just like I don't agree with George Bush's politics, but I do agree with the way he lived his life, against the grain, a true subversive with the balls to speak his mind, for better of worse, even if it was mostly worse. You can change the world quite a bit by being a freak. People will work very hard against you. Look at Adolph Hitler, people were forced to work against him for the greater good. Is this world a better place because of Hitler? If it is better its only because people united against him and drove him to kill himself (okay, and German infrastructure was improved) I don't agree with the way King George II lives his life, detached. Bobby Fischer was wrong on so many levels, but I don't think he was detached.

I am going to go get my ass whooped in a game of chess now.

3rd Graders Who Count on Their Fingers

2008-01-16T12:33:00.000-08:00

Math. What do they know in the third grade? 8-5=3, 18-9=9, 14-8=7... funny ass kids. I would love this job if I didn't have to be acountable to the man. If I could just be a glorified babysitter and make my own rules. I probably could/will in the future, but I am also starting to like the idea of making money.

Real estate development - that's what I want to do now. Buy, develop, and sell... I need to get in good with a real estate agent and be able to borrow about $150,000 to get started. I don't know if I should sell my house but it is an option. Money is funny - math is funny. Anybody can do math, but some people hate it so much, myself included, that they do whatever it takes to aviod it. I do it. I also lie to myself and I seriously think there is a correlation there. Avioding math and lying to yourself have a lot in common. Think about it.

The News

2008-01-14T05:59:00.000-08:00

There isn't any news. Its Monday morning and the weekend turned out fine. The date was fine, the bands were fine, the down time was fine. Smoothing out the edges of my life? Hardly. Complacency has no place in my life, it never has and it never will. When things get to be too much I just go out of my way to do something stupid and viola everything is back to normal. Yes, my life sometimes seems to revolve around the stupid decisions I have made when it should revolve around the smart decisions I've made. The thing about smart decisions is that they take time to appriciate. Was becoming a school teacher a smart decision? How about joining the military? Either one would be nice to retire from, and I would be retiring from the military in about five years if I would have staying in. Do I regret getting out? Never! Will I regret getting out in five years when I would be retiring? Probably not! But I do need to do something. The kids book, the movie script, the calander... Something is going to have to happen. The band? Probably not, but we did have a good practice this weekend... Students are here, see ya

How much coffee is too much?

2008-01-08T07:53:00.000-08:00

That's a trick question. The same goes for beer. Coffee all day, beer all night.

On alcoholism: Screw it! I know miserable people who don't touch liquor. My Grandfather, for example, fights with my Grandmother and winds up sleeping on my couch! Yes, he is strange enough without alcohol, but he was also raised as a orphan on the Mississippi River. He is Huckelberry Finn circa 1930s instead of Huck Finn 1870s. Now he is an older, Korean War veteran Huck Finn, governement pension Huck Finn, and he doesn't really drink. One beer will put him to sleep. There aren't stories like that anymore. No kids in Hannibal living under a bridge, eating stone soup and running from the law anymore. Maybe that why people drink, so they can make have soem crazy stories... Well, I have crazy stories so I am going to have to start drinking occasionally, to relax, like medicine. Ever get the feeling that you are taking medicine when you take a shot of Crown Royal?

Cable TV

2008-01-04T08:53:00.000-08:00

My roommates were sitting on the couch wishing we had cable (I hate cable) and some guy in a truck with a bucket pulled into the house across the street from ours. It wasn't the cable guy is all I know, or want to know. One roommates said to the other, "Why don't you offer that guy $20 and see if he'll hook up our cable." The other roommate did it and now we have cable. I don't want to get caught, but all we've done since getting cable is sit there and watch TV. No more playing guitar, no more conversations, its all about the TV. Maybe I should make an call, tell them a fake name.

Iowa, Janurary 3rd, 2008. Barak Obama! No one here would know I went to see Barak Obama speak in St. Louis a few months ago. I am at a loss for words. Maybe I'm on a roll. Usually, when things are going good and the things that I believe in find a spot in the status quo I start to change how I feel about stuff, self destructive to say the least. But this time I am going to roll with the punches, stick with my ideals until they end up screwing me...

Gotta go eat a noisy lunch with the kids.

2008!

2008-01-03T11:41:00.000-08:00

What a wild wild New Years Eve. I knew that Ankur coming to visit from San Diego for a week would make for exciting times but I didn't know just how exciting they were going to be. It was like Fear and Loathing without the fear... there was minimal substance induced loathing and it was worth it. Hangovers, we've all had them.

What exactly happened? Billy had a stroke, seriously, and I pray for him. If he can't play music then he won't be himself.

Some dude, Bobby's friend, puked in my living room, then pissed himself and "possibly shat" which is going to be worth a lifetime of jokes at this poor mother's expense. Ankur woke up with Mel Gibson's Payback coming out of his mouth until I was saying it too, "Don't shit where you eat... or live." We repeated it at least a thousand times. And our other mantra, "Party time, New Year's Eve, Mardi Gras!" Anything with three syllables works if you scream it really loud.

We danced and danced and drank and drank - played music, went to the new bar, I must have done something right because, even though I don't remember talking to her, a cute girl named Ella called me the next day.

Which brings me to New Years resolutions - no more blacking out! If Ankur is the one who had to drive home I drank way too much. He is a terrible driver when he is sober and I'm glad he made it safely. No highway driving and as long as you don't go over 25 mph in town no one is going to die... look at me justifying drinking and driving. No more drinking and driving - I just made that one, and I didn't drink and drive anyway, I had Ankur do it.

Back at work now, but it was fun.

Bloody Mary Morning

2007-12-25T17:10:00.000-08:00

Christmas night - Its over in 4 hours and 45 minutes. I've made it through the worst part of the holiday season, and although I spent a couple of hours looking at old pictures from Costa Rica, Louisiana, float trips and off shore I didn't dwell on too much misery. In fact, I realized that I created all of those memories. I might not have been alone but there was only one constant in all of those photographs: me! Dogs, friends, girls and memories have all come and gone and the only thing that is really left standing, besides possibly my family, is me. Sometimes lately it feels like its nothing more than what is left of me. I don't even know why I worry after looking at some of those pictures, pictures of Utah, Florida, Missouri, Arkansas, and New Orleans, Louisiana.

But its Christmas night and I have Willie Nelson in the headphones. Willie makes sad songs seem happy somehow. "I won't make reason to why I miss her so... To make a long story short, she's gone." He needs more songs about dogs, at least one really good song about a dog.

Summer time coat

2007-12-21T07:34:00.001-08:00

I look rather large and unamused. Funny face has the Boulevard Wheat. The trees are green and summer time rocks, working for DHL, sitting on my ass, driving around, eating gas station food and drinking beers every night.
The Bar will be named - Hopefully the Brass Monkey, or Feng Shui Cafe, on the loan app it had to be called Ferenzi's... Shane and Noah in the back ground. Get to work slackers! Terrance

Gogol Bordello

2007-12-20T09:31:00.000-08:00

I can't think today - more specifically, medicine head. Selffulfilling prophecy - talk about medicine head, become medicine head. Hopefully mentioning New Orleans doesn't scare up the ghosts I left in that sweet sweet city! Wholly crap that would be bad! Especially during the holiday season... Those ghosts were bad and they're names are better left unmentioned. I've talked about them too long, now they will destory me! hahahaha...

I did remember one thing really cool about New Orleans that I would like to share. I lived two blocks away from the house John Kennedy Toole lived in with his family. He also taught ESL in Puerto Rico! Fuckign Wikipedia is all you will ever need... I wish I would have visited his grave. Maybe one day.

Since I will be leaving for Christamas Vacation, the second biggest time of year at any elementary school, I thought I would try to write as much as possible in this blog today and tomorrow. I don't know how much time I am going to have to write while I'm on break. I'm planning on being pretty hung over for as much of the break as possible and there's the bar and the band and Ankur coming to visit, and, oh yeah, I have a son to take care of... God that makes vacation sound like more work than work.

I don't think I've mentioned the bar or the band here. My brother just bought a bar, an empty building, and I am so into putting a deli in the front, with the big windows and cozy little space, with coffee, bagels, ham sandwichs, avacados, bean sprouts, no fryer or grill... three blocks from the university - and live music in the back, with a full bar. I don't see how the picture I have in my head could possibly fail, unless we are just lazy about the whole thing.

The band, much sorer subject, fucking dorks and primadonnas and I am a little of both. I love them, especially Nathan the drummer, because I haven't gotten to know him as well as I would like. After three years he still doesn't come out just to party down - which is cool with me. Shane and I have been partying like clowns since we were sophmores in high school. Is that sad or what? We really are like brothers, I know because I have two real ones, but we still ENJOY doing the same crap sometimes, with way less frequency. We haven't been out on a week night in years. Maybe we will over our break. Our new CD, our new bass player, my brother, our old bass player, Billy Beale, it is so much goddamn drama I just want to scream.

I'll go on a ledge and say how I feel about each one of them: Steve, piano, sax, trumpet, singing, he's a dork and a primmadonna just like me! We get along great and he is fun to joke with. Mike - percussion, trumpet. He's cool and I don't see enough of him lately. That usually changes around Christmas time. Dr. Taylor too... I have a feeling those ghosts will reappear in the next 12 days! (12 days of Christmas! hilarious) Shane - yeah, three bands, known each other since 10th grade, best man in his wedding, 'nuff said. Nathan - see above. Ben - he's my gd brother so I have to like him. Sterotypical brother relationship... We get into a fist fight about once a year. So everything sounds good - I just really wish we wouldn't have kicked Billy Beale out! I said it. Shit, we'd still be playing regular, we wouldn't have to teach Ben all this new shit. Who gives a shit if Billy drinks way way to much Crown Royal and acts like a fool in front of a couple hunderd people? I think that is ROCK and ROLL people -

Off of my chest demon - the night that broke the camel's back Shane was wasted, I was wasted, we maintained on stage, Billy didn't, que sera sear...

Shit, I've written too much, no one will ever make it this far. if you do, post the secret code and I will send you a free CD! Hot off the press. The Bovine Arrival - My Big Dead Cow! fuckin funny. Okay, the code is m42thcSp-A-8

We actually haven't come to a consense on My Big Dead Cow either - so if you have an opinon on the name of the Album we always listen. My Big Dead Fucking Cow sounds good to me

Wednesday

2007-12-19T07:50:00.000-08:00

How long did it take me to learn how to spell "Wednesday"? Years, my friend, years.

Its Wednesday and nothings happening so I'm not going to pretend. I'm not going to pretend that there is something so important I need to write it down and other people need to read about it. I'm tired of re-living New Orelans, I told myself I was going to let all of that go, and I haven't. I'm not going to pretend like I am any type of writer, artist, musician, or interesting human being, because apparently I'm not. I'm happy with being bi-polar, at least its dynamic. I'll write about New Orleans when I feel about it, and I'll write about

The good thing is that I am in a fine mood today and I don't care if I feel interesting or insightful or if anybody gives a fuck. I feel the best when I feel nothing at all. There's nothing wrong with that. That's what peace is all about. Getting rid of that pesky ego, being...

One night at a time in New Orleans

2007-12-18T07:23:00.000-08:00

All I can remember about the night I'm about to recall is that I found my truck parked legally in front of the police station three days after I thought, or more specifically, I knew, it had been stolen. I remember the evening and drinking at a bar and I can remember riding my bike around the quarter for hours on end searching my lost truck, but I cannot recall where I drank that night. Seven hours are missing from my life and I don't think I regret blacking out. How can I ever know?

For three days I dedicated a couple of hours before my 8pm to 6am shift at Molly's to tooling around the French Quarter looking for a sign of my 1979 Izuzu Pup. I had convinced myself that it was not going to be where I parked it because it had surely been stolen, but I dedicated myself more specifically to finding the place where I had parked it, and not actually finding the truck itself.

The keys were in the ingnition and it was parked in the French Quarter. In New Orleans that means it has been stolen.

That evening I went drinking with a beautiful English girl whose name I cannot remember and her boyfriend or her husband, something like that. They were friends of my roommates whose name I chose not to remember in fear of waking the dead. (Something I should surely get into one of these posts.)

The art gallery where my roommate and the gorgeous English girl worked was having an open house and there was free wine and beer. The exhibit had something to do with birds and I love birds so I drank a shit load of free wine. Then we left.

I remember driving to the Quarter with people in the truck.

I remember parking.

I remember drinking.

I remember taking the street car home.

I remember racking my brain trying to remember where my truck had been parked.

I remember how lovely the city and weather were when I would search for my vehicle and laugh, "How the fuck did this happen?" Then I would lay by the river and watch the ships pass by, sleep and eat before work and wonder what my truck was up to.

I found her on the third day, parked in front of the frist bar I had visited which happened to be across from the police station. Being parked in front of the police station doesn't mean you won't get your car stolen in New Orleans, but it must have seemed obvious...

Pissy!

2007-12-17T07:42:00.001-08:00

I haven't gotten anything done, I spent the weekend with family, which can be quite stressful, its the holiday season, I'm lonely and my job can go to hell! Teachers are so lucky to get two weeks off for Christmas, my ass. I am so sick of kids right now. If I didn't have two weeks off at Christmas and three months off in the summer I don't think I could do this job. People with children should understand that sometimes having one child can be a lot to handle. So, you people with one or two or three kids, try having 15 at a time. And then try to teach them something.

Like I said, I am pissy. Pissy pissy pissy... Maybe I will write more when I feel better. Peace

Editor(s) Wanted

2007-12-13T11:28:00.000-08:00

I am taking the ideas from my previous post about New Orleans and writing a book, or novella, about the size of Junky by Bourroughs, 110 pages, full fast paced New Orleans action. Instead of being ashamed of what I have written I am going to ask everyone I know and whom I do not know for advice. Yesterday's post was the referrence guide. It can grounded in reality but I would rather that it be fiction. It has to happen quickly, maybe over the X-Mas vacation to keep it fresh. That's what Jack Kerouac did with on the road, supposedly on one long sheet of paper.

Confederacy of Dunces

2007-12-12T09:35:00.000-08:00

The book I haven't read in three years: Confederacy of Dunces. The city I haven't lived in for three years: New Orleans. Oh my God, it has been too long since I've drank beer after beer after Jameson after beer in New Orleans. I guess I try not to think about it since returning to Kansas City. My memories aren't good or bad anymore, they're just places I've been, people I've met, things I've done. I guess that's why I have such a hard time telling a story, writing a poem or a song, functioning, these days...ha ha! Its true, haven't functioned for a while. I thought Louisiana would offer a lifetime of good memories but every time I think about it I just want to scream and cry like a spoiled little kid. I wish I was there now. That's something to work on, either deal with it here or go back to her, New Orleans.

There is a story here, an easy story to tell, it tells itself. I worked at Molly's at the Market as a bartender for about eight months from 8pm to 6am. After work, as the sun came up, we would start to drink for real, not like the tourists, but for real. I loved the job but had to quit when they promoted me to daytime bartender. Being a real bartender and not just some dude that hands out beers and collects money between drinks made me nervous. Honestly, I would have got sucked into that scene/trap and looking back, it would have been worse than teaching elementary school. Hindsight isn't always a bitch.

Then I started as a bicycle messenger. My body went from one extreme to another, quickly. From bar tending at Molly's all night to riding a bike all day... dynamic to say the least. It would have been more dynamic if all the bike messengers in the city weren't complete lushes. So we drank...

Delgado Community College - boring.

Mr. Denny's Voyageur Swamp Tours. What can I say? My body was doing okay at the time. I caught a load of shit from friends and family for literally sleeping in Mr. Denny's closet. (It was a total shit hole!) My brother stopped by on his way from Florida and said, "Don't you think you've been sleeping in Mr. Denny's closet for long enough?" Two days later I was gone. It was the true bayou experience. On the bayou all day, eating fresh crayfish and gumbo, and everything, ettoufee, alligators, catfish, going to New Orleans for the weekend, getting ripped, Slidell, Louisiana and the West Pearl River are meant to be. I don't have the words right now.

I haven't back been since Katrina, Mr. Denny had a brain tumor, that's probably why I don't think about it anymore.

Ignatius the unacceptable, Toole the martyr, working outside of the system. Teaching school, my dream, screaming kids, how could I have not known? I guess I was supposed to go overseas immediately after getting my MA. Whoops! Now I have the experience. I'm like the Bionic Man, except I'm an English teacher, not quite as exciting.

I've done a lot for my kids, I've taught them a lot about how to properly disrespect teachers, how teachers can be as cruel as kids, how teachers teach because they are still kids, how they gossip at the lunch table, how they dislike each other behind the curtain, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. I've taught them by example and that doesn't necessarily mean I've always set a good example, I've just tried to be myself. Kids appreciate that. Their parents work at a factory. They are Mexican kids living seven to a three bedroom house. All they know is the reality of hardship and I try to make their lives a little easier or better or safer... safer... and the system comes down on my head. I'm not like the rest of these teachers, that's why I'll be taking another chance, doing something else again, refusing to settle and paying a heavy cost for it as usual.

That brings me to a recent conclusion: If these students acted like the teachers or did any of the things the teachers did we would have to call social services. If the kids did the things teachers did they would be considered total fuck ups. Teachers have sex, smoke and drink and set that example for their students. Mostly they hide it from the kids. Me? We'll I don't keep a bottle of Chivas in my desk, but I would if I could. Its hard not to be a hypocrite around here. It would be impossible if it wasn't for the tea totalers; they keep this place pure, which is actually a good thing, its just not the way the real world works. I guess that means I will be a hypocrite until I quit teaching or quit drinking...Any ideas on which may come first?

First Day on the Job

2007-12-11T06:25:00.000-08:00

I now have a blog where I can bitch about stuff. Like a dictionary for my thoughts, a public journal of the things I want, a representative to the people about me... Is this how it works? If you read this let me know if I am doing it right.

There is so much blah blah blah blah out there. So blah blah blah...

Alvin the Insecure Chipmunk