WTF!?!?!?

I thought I was doing all right, not sweating the small stuff, not worried about much except finding a new job, spending good times with my son, and then I find myself filling out a profile for yahoo personals. What the hell is wrong with me. Sure, I'm lonely sometimes, but this is no way to go about. Why am I so opposed to meeting someone on the internet? Reality is what you make of it, right? Now I'm fucking stressed, feeling old and tired. I thought I had really dealt with all that shit. 32 is the prime of my life. No offense to hot young 23 year olds, but I wouldn't want to be that age again. Would I date a 23 year old? Hell yes, but girls are more mature than boys. I actually don't know how a 23 year old girl could date a 23 year old boy.

Anyway, I'm thinking about buying tickets to Hawaii to see my cousin, can't bring my son but that's okay, I am gonna chill the fuck out. I have $375 in travel vouchers from United, the dirty letter worked, and I am going to put the last vacation to shame. (I did hear there was an awesome girl fight at the dinner table on Easter at the people house we were supposed to be staying at. Missed it.) I wasn't so sure about skiing anyway. I'm wondering about other places besides Hawaii, places I've been, hell, I've been a lot of places. All the 50 states except Maine, NH, Vermont, Mass, RI, I could probably hit those little states in one day. Mexico and Canada, I'm thinking about Vancouver. Of all the places I've been I would have to say NYC and Alaska have been the coolest. Maybe revisit? I don't know if that makes sense. I've been to Hawaii twice... Can't make it to Europe, or Central America on $375, and if I could I'd go to Hungary to see Gabi and Zolton, my sister -in-laws folks.

WTF?!?!?!? I am so rambling on about nothing today. I feel like I need mental help, like a shrink or something. Binge and Purge